I’m always jealous when I see that other people are vacationing with friends! For example, Holly from Club Thrifty recently went to Jamaica with a group of friends and Michelle from Making Sense of Cents is planning a Las Vegas bachelorette party with her bridal party. I would really love to vacation with friends but it’s not something we’ve done very much.
- We went on a cruise with two of our friends from college.
- We rented a beach house for a few days with a bunch of friends just before our college graduation.
- We road-tripped from L.A. to Seattle and back with college friends right after graduation.
- For several years post-college, we spent a couple days around New Year’s with a group of friends at the family mountain cabin of one of the friends.
- We attended a wedding in Chicago that several friends also attended – we didn’t stay at the same places, but we met up for some activities over a couple days.
Even though there is sometimes conflict over what activities to do and such when traveling with others (spouse, family, or friends) I think it’s worth it to bond and make the memories together.
I’m jealous of these friend-vacations for a few reasons:
1) They are taking vacations to begin with! Aside from visiting family for Christmas and taking an occasional day off to travel to a wedding, Kyle and I haven’t taken a proper vacation in over a year and a half.
2) They get to choose where they go (along with their group, presumably). We haven’t chosen a vacation destination since our honeymoon in 2010.
3) I think they must have really close friends or friend-groups to be prioritizing vacationing together, given the time and money costs.
I don’t mean to be so complain-y about my reasons for my jealousy! Kyle and I actually do have flexible vacation time officially available to us, we just never take it because we’re so focused on graduating. We travel for weddings and see our families over holidays but that’s about it, at least in the past few years.
I guess I am also feeling a little strange about the current status of my friendships. We have great mutual friends from college who we almost never see, and more and more time is passing. We have good local friends, too, but as we’ll be moving away soon I find myself unsure how much energy I want to invest in the relationships. So many of our good friends have already moved away and we haven’t kept in contact. Articulating that makes me feel terrible! I should be better at living in my present.
I can think of several friends, some from college and some local, who we “click” with well enough that I think vacationing together would be fun. But since 2008 (a year after we graduated from college), I have never suggested that we travel to vacation with any friends, and we haven’t really been asked, either. I guess it’s just something that I don’t see done very much in my friend circles. Since so many of our friends are also in grad school and/or live far away from their families, they probably also have limited time and money for vacations and have a lot of obligation travel. At least, I’m assuming that on their behalf! Probably if we were asked by the right people at the right time for the right destination, we would say “yes” and be able to make it happen time- and money-wise, but I’m not brave enough to suggest it myself. Maybe I’m also a little afraid of rejection – of thinking we’re better friends than we are.
Later in life our vacation time will probably be better-defined by our workplaces and we should have more disposable income, but we’ll also probably have kids and I don’t know how that would complicate vacationing with friends.
I think my conclusion is that if I really want to vacation with friends, I should put myself out there and just broach the subject! It doesn’t have to be anything long or expensive, especially if we are looking forward to a big trip for just the two of us in the late summer or fall. Perhaps we could plan something for after Kyle defends.
P.S. I asked Kyle if he is interested in vacationing with friends and he flatly said no. He doesn’t even like compromising with me in terms of how to spend his vacation time!
Have you ever vacationed with friends and how was it? Do you see your peers going on vacation with friends and at what life stage?